A gift to the poor

Somehow this thing slipped past my spam filter. I couldn't resist...

OFFICE OF THE SENATE PRESIDENT
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL SENATE COMMITTEE
(RESOLUTION PANEL ON CONTRACT PAYMENT)
IKOYI-LAGOS NIGERIA
Our Ref: FGN /SNT/STB
Your Ref.


Attn; Sir

THIS IS TO OFFICIALLY INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE VERIFIED YOUR INHERITANCE FILE AND FOUND OUT THAT WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR PAYMENT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT FULFILLED THE OBLIGATIONS GIVEN TO YOU IN RESPECT OF YOUR CONTRACT/INHERITANCE PAYMENT.

SECONDLY WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT YOU ARE STILL DEALING WITH THE NONE OFFICIALS IN THE BANK YOUR ENTIRE ATTEMPT TO SECURE THE RELEASE OF THE FUND TO YOU. WE WISH TO ADVISE YOU THAT SUCH AN ILLEGAL ACT LIKE THESE HAVE TO STOP IF YOU WISH TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT SINCE WE HAVE DECIDED TO BRING A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM. RIGHT NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR PAYMENT THROUGH OUR SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTER ASIA PACIFIC THAT IS THE LATEST INSTRUCTION FROM MR. PRESIDENT, UMARU YAR'ADUA (GCFR) FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA AND FBI.

THIS CARD CENTER WILL SEND YOU AN ATM CARD WHICH YOU WILL USE TO WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD, BUT THE MAXIMUM IS HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS PER DAY,(100,000.00) SO IF YOU LIKE TO RECEIVE YOUR FUND THIS WAY PLEASE LET US KNOW BY CONTACTING THE INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUNDS DEPARTMENT CARD PAYMENT CENTER;

NAME: Dr Desmond Duru
EMAIL ADDRESS: info_atm_payment_office1@yahoo.com
PHONE NUMBER; 234-1-7367650.
AND ALSO SEND THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION:

1. YOUR FULL NAME
2. PHONE AND FAX NUMBER
3. ADDRESS WERE YOU WANT THEM TO SEND THE ATM CARD
4. YOUR AGE AND CURRENT OCCUPATION
THE ATM CARD PAYMENT CENTER HAS BEEN
MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT USD 6.8 MILLION AS
PART PAYMENT FOR THIS FISCAL YEAR 2008. ALSO
FOR YOUR INFORMATION,YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY
FURTHER COMMUNICATION WITH ANY OTHER PERSON
(S) OR OFFICE(S) TO AVOID ANY HITCHES IN
RECEIVING YOUR PAYMENT.

FOR ORAL DISCUSSION, EMAIL ME BACK AS SOON
AS YOU RECEIVE THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE OR
FURTHER DIRECTION AND ALSO UPDATE ME ON ANY
DEVELOPMENT FROM THEABOVE-MENTIONED OFFICE.
NOTE THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY
ISSUED YOU OURCODE OF CONDUCT, WHICH IS (ATM-
822)SO YOU HAVE TO INDICATE THIS CODE WHEN
CONTACTING THE CARD CENTER BY USING IT AS
YOUR SUBJECT.

KINDEST REGARDS,
MR DAVID MARK.
SENATE PRESIDENT.

My reply:

Hello Mr. Mark,

Thank you very much for your generosity, honesty, and diligence. One good turn deserves another. Your country is poor; I donate my full inheritance to the people of Nigeria.


And he wrote me back!

HOW ARE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY? I HOPE ALL IS WELL.PLEASE NOTIFY US IF YOU ARE WILLING TO RECIEVE YOUR ATM PAYMENT CARD NOW?

SINCERELY YOURS
DESMOND DURU

Okay, seeing if he understands...

Hi, my family and I are quite well, thank you. I hope you put the money to good use. Schools and clean water, perhaps a hospital. A few million goes pretty far in Nigeria, I suppose?

Best regards.